The Lies of Vodka

Vodka, this isn't the worst lie you've ever told me. Maybe the least credible, though.

Video: Too Hot to Play

How hot is it? It's too hot to play. Ms. Jordan is having none of John Henry's shenanigans.

#Illinois2018 – On Road Trips

Americans see distances in a very different way to normal people… They just have so much more to work with. I know this is hardly a startling observation (Hey, have you noticed how big the US is?) but the truth of the cliché hit me hard as we traveled, my delightfully American wife and I, …

Poop Table

More antiquing. More gems. I mean, this is a poop table, right? It can't be anything else.

Video: Jordan – In Dreams

Maybe the only thing more endearing than Jordan awake is Jordan asleep.

On Fords

I’m weeks away from having paid off my car. Blanche is very nearly all mine. It’s taken 5 years but it’s the first car I’ve paid off since coming to this country, and it feels like a milestone of sorts. Another stamp on my Being a Grownup card. Of course, now I'm getting near to …

For Sale

OK, I'd buy it. A hearse. Sure. Except...how the hell would I park it?

Tony’s Web

First, yes, UGH. I know...spiders. There's no greater arachnophobe than me, let me assure you. As such, apologies for giving you a close-up quite like this. But, just this once, why not take a look...? This is Tony; he lives in our back yard. And he's amazing. Look at what he can do! But if …

On Preparing for a Road Trip: #Hillsboro2018

We’re heading up to Hillsboro, IL, for the Old Settlers Festival, which I imagine beforehand will be seven old people and a one-eyed boy pushing a dog in a buggy around the streets while a man holding a kitten waves an American flag behind a barricade. OK, the kitten is also waving a flag. To …

Texas

Yes, people of the world, this is what Texas looks like. They're not kidding.