Free Time and Money

In my role as parent, role-model, and all-around knower-of-everything, I’ve talked to the child about my concept of free money. “Free money” is of course an immediate misnomer as money is never free…not for the likes of you and me. In this case, the free part means it doesn’t belong to anything. It is as a …

On False Advertising

This is not OK, people. Lies in marketing? Sure. Misspelling "Advertisement"? No, absolutely not. Shame. SHAME!

On Our First Fosters

We have decided to become foster carers for pugs in need. After that, things moved pretty quickly. We picked out a cute-looking little guy from the charity's website and made our claim. To our surprise, we got him...and then he got sick and wasn't ready to be around other dogs, so they offered us a …

On Wine Labels

I would buy this wine. For $60. And I don't even drink wine. But look at that label... Someone needs to take my money away from me before I do something silly.

On School Problems

I was good at school. I took it seriously. My brothers were both athletes; one a runner and one a thrower. When I would arrive at a new school, the PE teachers would see my name on the student list and no doubt hope for greater athletic glory. When they eventually saw me, squinting, as …

Warning Signs

It is my firm belief that if someone has written a sign saying not to do something, then more often than not, this is a direct result of that exact thing being done. Which makes these signs especially disturbing...

On Things I Would Make Illegal

When I am God-King of the Universe, these are things that will be illegal. With punishments swift and severe: Serving a patron Pepsi when they specifically asked for Coke. Isn’t this supposed to be the home of freedom? Isn’t this the country that invented customer service? So what is this bullshit? Coke is not Pepsi. …

On Personalized Number Plates

I'm not collecting these. Just...keeping them for future reference.

On Tattoos

We are socialized by our childhoods, good or bad. That is to say, our ideas of normal are set up in our minds when we are sponges, absorbing language and norms and social expectations. If, every Sunday, your family goes into the woods to a small chapel and speaks in tongues with poisonous snakes around …