The Q&A

Based on the Guardian series, here.

When were you happiest? Any time when my wife and I were together, with nowhere specific to be, ideally with a hot drunk and the pug pack.

Which living person do you most admire, and why? Elizabeth Warren. I believe she has a plan to really make a difference.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Doubt. I think.

What was your most embarrassing moment? The opportunity for me to be embarrassed looms large every day. My embarrassment threshold is vanishingly low… My earliest memories of embarrassment would be screaming the school down in primary school when a clown visited the assembly; or a birthday game where you had to sing a song and me stopping my friends because they had the words wrong. Both events would very much reflect future behavior. And every day since has offered new embarrassment opportunities, many of which I have embraced whole-heartedly. Oh, then there was the time I needed to ask a female colleague for help, so shot off a quick “Are you busy?” email…which was actually an “Are you busty?” email. I could literally go on and on…

What makes you unhappy? Overthinking. Cruelty and not treating each other with dignity. Dogs suffering. Having things just not work. Watching adverts. Dirty dishes.

What is your most unappealing habit? My superpower is finding flaws in plans. It’s something other people love, obviously. 

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? Self-driving cars.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? The burgers and bacon that seem to sit on my midriff and refuse to budge.

What does love feel like? An overstuffed chair, a cup of cocoa, and a Batman graphic novel, as the wind howls outside.

What has been your biggest disappointment? Liverpool FC. 30 years and counting.

What is the closest you’ve come to death? Probably my earliest attempts at cooking. Driving.

What has been your closest brush with the law? I was once stopped for speeding. Which is indeed hilarious if you know me. And that really is it, as far as I know…

What song would you like played at your funeral? The Long Way Home, by Tom Waits; or She Chose Me, by Randy Newman.

How would you like to be remembered? Fondly.

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