Doggy DNA Part 3

I hate when it turns out that I represent an unimpressive negative national stereotype. But here it is: I can’t complain. If I have bad service, my revenge is to never go to that place again Or, at least, give them just one more chance, dammit. I don’t even do bad online reviews. Not anymore. …

On Doggy DNA, part 2

I am not a great scientist. Let me put that out there first. At school, when it came to choosing which science I would focus on for the final two years of compulsory schooling (14-16), I chose physics, because that’s what boys did. Girls went for biology; mad scientists and bomb-makers chose chemistry. I didn’t …

On Doggy DNA

We have previously discussed the fascinating sociological issue of the secret pug-lovers societies dotted around the US (and, most likely, beyond). Having our three puppers means that we instantly, and without any option to opt out, have an entry into this cabal. And yet. Look at them. I look at these faces every day and …

The Pug Pack: A Recap

Like tattoos and tea pots, once you get one pug, you might well find yourself getting another one. Foolishly, my wife and I very much thought of ourselves as cat people but, as my son is allergic, we decided to make do with a dog instead. It's a wonder we're able to make it through …

On Pug Names

Why have one name when so many more seem to fit? And, if your puggles happen to be deaf, all the better. They can't get confused if they can't hear you. The Reverend John Henry UnderfootThe Rev; John Henry; JH; sweetie; pooper; little pooper; the favored child; John Henry Underbite. Ms. Jordan UnderfootJordan; Feisty Grandma; …

On Unsuitable Topics of Conversation

As you might be aware, I work from home and my main company for most of the day are four adorable but malodorous pugs. Among other things, this has had the effect of making my already suspect social skills into something approaching shut-in level. As we head into Xmas party season, this is a cause …

On Autumn

One of the few concessions I have refused to make to my new homeland is using the word “Fall” when what I clearly mean is “autumn”. Fall is and will always be a verb…except, I suppose, when it comes to Lucifer. But other than that very strict theological exception…fall is a verb. And so it …

On Dealing With Danger

I live in a nice neighborhood. I might have mentioned that before. We're renting the one shabby house on the block. When our contract is up, I have no doubt the owners will sell off to the first person who wants to knock it down and build a two-story TV-design house in its place. And …

Pugs vs Pugs: A Cute-Off

It is wrong to compare the personalities of your children. It is doubly wrong to then rank them in order of preference. Doing so on the internet is a monstrous act. But, if your kids are in fact dogs, you’re OK; they can’t read...they’ll never know. The question before us is this: Who’s better – …

On Jordan’s Pill

A propros almost nothing, as a young copy editor I was responsible for a nursing journal. Among other things, I learned two words: analgesic and diuretic. I say I learned the words, but I didn’t always remember which was which. Here, as in most things, context was everything. Anyway, because of my solid medical background, …