On What I Do Best

So, I wondered to myself recently, what is the tell-tale sign that we’ve stopped writing about dystopias and are instead living in one? Just a random thought. Have you ever looked at your life skills, or lack thereof, and thought, “I would be absolutely useless in a Mad-Max-style global apocalypse”? I know it’s not just …

On Unsuitable Songs

I’m at “that age”, especially when it comes to music. I listen to almost zero new music. I don’t know who’s cool now, unless they’re also famous for something else. I know Kanye West, for example, but I have no idea if I’ve ever heard any of his music. I am, in musical terms, an …

On Losing an Imaginary Friend

Prince came to live with me in Xmas 1984 (or maybe '85), via the kind of cassette tape you could pick up for a couple of quid at any market stall in the country during those prehistoric, lawless times. As I listened, wearing out the tape, he told me strange, unknowable things, things I sometimes …

On John Lennon’s “Imagine”

My list of Songs I Hate is a long one. It would include anything Ace of Base have ever done. “Wind of Change” by the Scorpions.  Tom Jones’ version of “Kiss”. But my #1 Most Hateful Song is “Imagine”, by John Lennon. I know: this seems a bit hipster, a bit cooler-than-thou. After all, it’s …